I can feel my resolve starting to waver a little. I keep thinking to myself “perhaps I could just check a news website or what’s happening on Twitter or Facebook”

I think this is the mistake I make a lot of the time when trying to kick bad habits. I do really well at something for a week or two, then I think it’s ok to allow myself an indulgence.

This is how habits creep back into your life. Bit by bit so you don’t notice, like smoke from a house fire it filters into your home (or head) and before you know it you wake up and shit’s gone crazy!

Habits are very much like depression in that sense.

I think my brain is starting to revolt. He’s been along for the ride so far but now I think he’s cottoned on and is all like ‘WHAT THE F4CK MAN! - Seriously, I was happy to go along with this for a while cause I figured it would make you happy, but now!....now you’re starting to really piss me off.

And when I’m pissed off I can get up to some craaaaaazy shit’

“Don’t believe me?”

BAM - “have some phantom notification noises in your head”

BAM - “How about I make you think you hear your ringtone on the radio”

WHAMO - “what’s that vibrating in your pocket...oh... you don’t even have your mobile in your pocket!”

“Check it.....go on... you know you want to... check it...check it...CHECK IT”

It’s a constant effort to push these thoughts out of my head. I’m focusing on my rules, my goals and writing in the journal. So far this week I’ve achieved 3 of my goals. Facetime is one that I haven’t gotten around to so this week I plan to catch up with a friend and chat.