Can Facebook really help us connect?

I know it can help people to share information, images, movies etc... but can it really help people to have a real ‘connection’.

All the shiny advertising and media campaigns for the latest ‘innovative communication platform’ will certainly try to make us believe so, but if I think about the last few times that I’ve really connected with someone, there hasn’t been a screen in sight!

Connection for me is sharing with someone at multiple levels. When I truly connect with someone it’s usually over coffee or wine and talking about real issues with real effects on my life over many hours with laughing, sadness, advice and empathy. It’s me taking an interest in their lives and them taking an interest in mine.

Like I said, true connection happens on multiple levels. You just can’t go that deep with a screen no matter how much the ads say you can.

Have you ever met someone that you don’t really connect or ‘click’ with? The conversation tends to revolve around current events or the ‘did you see’ or ‘have you heard’ type conversation.

I know that when I looked at my feed in Facebook or Twitter, this was 90% of the type conversations that were taking place. That’s why it’s called media - because that’s what it is! It’s not called ‘social connections’ or ‘digital friendships’. No wonder I felt empty and unfulfilled all the time.

I fear that as more and more people start to accept the type of interactions we have on social media are normal, we will lose the art of conversation, connection and curiosity.

That’s the difference between being fed and finding out for yourself. Inquiry verses intake.

Looking back 16 days ago I can see that social media was like a conveyor belt of trivial crap that I had to wade and sift through. It was endless and always demanded my attention.

I was so focused on sifting through the crap to find the little gems, I didn’t realise that the gems were actually just polished turds and the real treasure was outside the factory and in the real world.

Like the elephant who has no chain but still believes it’s a slave, people can’t see that an ‘always on, contactable anywhere, hyper connected, quick response, thumb typing’ society is creating a wave of Mobile Addicts who don’t realise they’re slaves.

Me personally? I’m breaking free of those chains.